I remember clearly the mixed emotions I felt as I walked out the GP surgery clutching my first ever prescription for anti depressants.
I felt confused, disappointed, guilty, angry, optimistic, fear, despair, dread, self loathing and a whole heap of shame.
I was without a doubt totally unprepared for the overwhelming emotions. They have at times, over the past 5 years, consumed me to such a degree I didn’t think I’d ever find a way back to “normal”.
But after five years of pretty horrendous lows, things started to look up.
It has been an achingly, painfully slow process, full of backward steps, with many moments where I seriously doubted my ability to carry on existing.