I learnt a new skill today, well actually learnt is a bit of a stretch, I really just reaffirmed that I could still make a total arse of myself.
Ethan, the flighty little so and so, made a run for the road (every parent’s nightmare), I made a grab for him but this kiddo is super quick.
I managed to clip Ahren in his seat, spun around and began chasing after Ethan, when my two left feet, hindered by bloody flip flops (darn this unseasonably warm weather), trip me up and throw me down to the ground.
Thankfully my friend’s partner raced after Ethan and scooped him up out the road before any harm came to him.
I meanwhile, pick myself up, and notice searing pain in my knees and hands, not to mention the ENORMOUS dent in that thing we call pride.
I mean really, don’t we leave falling over our feet at school? The odd drunken stumble is somewhat expected / tolerated, especially if new shoes are being worn.
Sadly, I must admit this isn’t my first attempt at Pavement Diving.
A while ago I was walking along when a fence appeared out of nowhere and deliberately tripped me up. The fence could only have been 10 inches high at the most, which really is just a public nuisance, and should never have been allowed during these health and safety conscious times. This Pavement Dive left me in hospital with doctors debating whether or not to amputate my leg just below the knee! I’m pleased to say, I still got my leg!
Whist I’m rather certain that this most recent dive shan’t leave me hospitalised, I do look as though I’ve been in a fight.
My left hand has a slight ‘I’ve just punched someone’ appearance, yeah; you should see the
other guy pavement.
My knees are swollen, cut and bruised, almost like I saw a wall and deliberately attacked it with my knees, as you do.
The palm of my right hand is all scratched up, the kind of wound you can only get from ‘Pavement Surfing’ or rubbing your palm obsessively with sand paper.
My big toe also has a cut.
The good news, Ethan is fine.
I however, am cut, bruised, sore, upset, and totally pissed off at Ethan.
I know it’s something kids do, the whole running off malarkey, but man oh man; I can’t handle that kind of stress. We almost lost him a whole bunch of times when he was a baby; the little tyke isn’t getting away from me that easy!
I think more than anything, I’m embarrassed. Aren’t we supposed to stop falling over when sober whilst still in single digits?
I think I may have styled it out pretty well. As well as a grown woman can after throwing herself at the pavement and sliding along it, so um yeah, maybe I didn’t .
But my little boy is still safe and well, even if he will be getting grounded for the next 18 years.
Not sure what my next new skill will be, perhaps walking on hot coals!
Hope your day has been less ‘interesting’!
Such a terrible night's 'sleep'.
I now realise that I'm much to old for such shenanigans.
My right knee is puffed up like a football, ouch!
I'm off to cry into my coffee and convince my kiddos they really don't want to sit on my knee!
Have a lovely day.