Saying Goodbye ~ Social Media Style

Over the past few years whilst I’ve been blogging and more recently tweeting, I’ve “met” some amazingly, wonderful and supportive people, who I would like to say are friends, in as much as a person can be whom you have never actually met.

We’ve shared highs and lows, offered and received support, congratulated on success and achievements cried at loses and chatted about random nonsense.

I’ve gotten used to seeing certain names pop up in comments, emails or tweets; I notice when they aren’t there for any length of time.

Some have just stopped.

Profiles and blogs still exist, but aren’t updated, nothing is shared.

Others are gone.

Deleted as though they were never even there.

I first started thinking about how to bow out of blogging if and when I felt ready last year.

One lady, who like me has been living with PND, just disappeared. We’d formed a kind of bond, we knew what the other was going through, offered support and tried to boost each other when things got tough.

I know she’d had a relapse with her depression, she was struggling hard to keep things together, naturally blogging took a back seat at such times.

But she never came back, and it’s been over a year.

steppy pier

Knowing just how bad her bouts of depression got, I can’t help but wonder if she did something, whether she reached that dark abyss where you think you have nothing and no one to live for, where ending it is really the only option to make everything better.

I’m pissed at her for doing that.

For just cutting off and……………………..nothing, leaving me and no doubt others wondering if she’s okay.

Because whilst any relationship formed via social media has to be taken with a grain of salt, you can’t help but become invested.

For someone to just walk away without a word seems, almost rude.

A simple “goodbye” doesn’t seem like asking for much, but maybe I’m reading too much in to all this.

Maybe, it’s just way these kind of relationships go, here one day and gone the next.

Do we owe it to our online community to say “thanks and goodbye”?

Or is it perfectly fine to accept support from others, get them emotionally invested to a degree in our lives and then one day just disappear without a word, knowing you most likely leave some wondering what has happened.

Whatever her reasons for disappearing, I just hope she is happy and finally finding some peace from her depression.

8 comments :

  1. You make some very interesting points, and I have often wondered about the same thing myself. I think in some ways social media requires more emotional investment than real life - its a purely projective medium.

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  2. I have long thought the same. Some people I chatted with regularly just disappeared and haven't been heard of since. Others close their blogs, or don't renew their webspace and just vanish.

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  3. I had this happen to me a while back, thought I'd made a really good connection with a blogger and then they just disappeared - made their twitter private and blocked me. It's really hard when you feel as though you have invested in someone and then they just disappear. I suppose you just never know how seriously the person on the other end of the computer is taking your 'friendship' - sorry this happened to you too lovely!

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  4. This is a very thought provoking post. First of all, I had to read it, thinking that you were going to be leaving us! I was very sad and wanted to find out why. Thank goodness you're not! It is strange that when someone disappears off of social media, we do miss them and there is a definite void - probably not one to compare to an everyday life friendship but certainly significant. I imagine she must have been suffering in life to have not said goodbye as I feel that is courtesy really. Another blogging/twitter pal of mine did that recently, but she said goodbye and explained her reasons why, first. She has since come back! Maybe this 'friend' of yours will too. I do hope she is ok x

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  5. You might get a kick out of Hyperbole and a Half's blog. She hits the nail on the head.

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  6. This is really interesting. Do you feel that social media has fundamentally changed the nature of friendship? Or perhaps just added to the complexity of what we think of friendship, in that we now have lots of different categories of friends that we relate in different ways, where there are different sets of rules and expectations? I suspect there's a PhD in this subject! !

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  7. Great post.
    I could write a novel on this topic, but I'll spare you ;) I think one big thing that it comes down to is often the person leaving just doesn't really think people will notice or care. The nature of SM and how fast it moves and changes and the sheer enormity of it, I guess some people honestly think their absence wont be missed. I'm sure there is also that feeling of not wanting to make a big dramatic announcement and look attention seeking, and worse, what if no one did reply or notice the goodbye?
    Certainly with established blogs with regular readers you would expect a closing post, a goodbye of thoughts. I can completly understand how you are feeling and hope she is ok.

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Thank's for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate each one!

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