I'm in Trouble! How to break a dishwasher

Normally it’s the kiddos in our house who destroy things, but every once in a while I like to join in the chaos and keep hubby on his toes!

I decided to clean the dishwasher, and I mean REALLY clean it.
I took out the rack, the spinny thing and cleaned them all.
Then I took out the drain kinda thingy and plate type thing (I think it’s a big fancy smancy plug) and put these in hot soapy water.

Then, I got a screwdriver; do you see where this is going?

I took out the bit that covers the spinny thing, basically I removed A LOT of screws and the amount of food and sludge at every step was just OHMYGOSHNESS DISGUSTING.

I cleaned the whole thing, it was brand spanking shiny new clean, I even cleaned all the screws, yep they get nasty too!

Better yet, I managed to put it all back together PROPERLY, at this point I’m contemplating being a professional dishwasher cleaner, felt very satisfying knowing that my dishwasher was now so clean that I wanted to share the joy and hygiene.

But, then like the stooped arse I’am, I started to take out the screws in the door.

                                       DO NOT DO THIS, EVER!

So, I took off one set of screws, feeling pretty good about it, as I was able to clean up a huge amount of sludgy stuff, yep the grossness gets in the door!

I figured, as I’m a natural at taking these things apart, I should carry on and really give the door a good cleaning, so I take out the rest of the screws.

Just as I take out the second to last screw, the door kinda pops, the bloody hinges!

Then the door falls off in 2 pieces, the outside bit your kids draw on and the bit that gets wet when a cycle is on.

So I’m sat there on the kitchen floor, thinking
“I can fix this, I’ve created life, twins no less, and I’m not going to let a door beat me!”

I prod and poke it a bit, kinda like when you hit the TV to get it too work, doesn’t look much better.

I then carry on cleaning it; if I have to show hubby the broken dishwasher I may as well make sure it’s clean?!

Seriously, I had no idea so much gung and ickness could be in the door and seal of a dishwasher, my thinking is if it can get in there, it can get out and over your dishes, eeeeeewwwwwww!

Anyhoo, after much cleaning and shrieking, yes I shriek when confronted with something nasty, and flail my arms around, I thought I would give it one last go to put it back together.

So I pulled bits one way, pushed them another, kicked it, threw a tea towel at it, put a paint tin in it (random aren’t I?) and finally accepted that I had single handily broken our dishwasher.

Having done this kinda thing a few times before, I call hubby.
  Me: “you do love me don’t you?”
Him: “yes, what have you done?”
Me: “I was cleaning the dishwasher, it was dirty, and I kinda broke it”
Him “How kinda?”
Me: “The door fell off”
Him: “How?”
Me: “Because I took all the screws out! And it’s now in 2 pieces”

Then there is a bang

Me: “Now its 3 pieces and some of the wires are hanging out”
Him: “Did you unplug it from the wall?”
Me: “No, why?”
Him: “Because it has electricity going in it!”

I then, like a moth to a flame, get hold of a bunch of wires and try to put them back into where I think they came from, and get a tiny electric shock.

We end the conversation, him telling me to unplug it and leave it alone, me protesting that really we don’t need a dishwasher anyway!

I unplug it and smoosh the door back as much as I can.

Hubby comes home and sees my ‘handiwork’

I had a defence prepared for the inevitable questioning as to why.

Apparently something along the lines of:

‘well its obviously inferiorly made if I was able to do that to it, and putting screws in it is just asking for someone to take them out’

Hubby says it’s for the engineers to get to parts.

My retort of

‘They should have put rivets in it then, and they could use a de – rivetor’ at least makes him smile!

So, that is how to destroy a dishwasher, easier than I thought.

I don’t actually think I want a new one, not because I’d be tempted to take it apart, got that out my system now, but because I never realised just how dirty they are. We always wiped off any food stuff from items before they went in, I would take out the easily removable parts every week to be washed, I checked the holes on the spiny things after every use to make sure nothing had got stuck inside it preventing the water from coming out and if I ever saw anything in there that shouldn't be, it came out. We used good quality tablets, ran a cleaning solution every few months and regularly put it on the super duper hot wash with just a tablet to give it a good cleaning. Basically, we did everything to maintain a clean dishwasher.

So, now you know where my boys get their naughty streak from, their daddy!


  1. I believe you're a fellow UK girlie. Hotpoint and Finish currently have a competition going that you might like - to win a new dishwasher =)

  2. Oh my gosh, that is too funny! Sounds like somethig I would do - take something a bit too far... LOL


  3. OMG - I'm crcking up reading about your mission to clean the dishwasher...I could see right away that you were heading for trouble..but then how do you know for sure unless you try it? My dishwasher is so noisy when we open it...any ideas how to fix it other than taking it apart...since we know that's not a good idea..OMG girl...somebody is going to need to start keeping track of you...LOL

  4. Hahaha this is totally something I would do and the conversation you had with your husband sounds a lot like the one I would have with mine. Lol

    All the gunk you described though does sound quite disgusting which makes me glad I don't use mine. :)


Post a Comment

Thank's for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate each one!