It’s been a pretty momentous week for us.
We are officially a baby gate free house.
It is a scary, exciting and desperately sad time.
It’s yet another reminder that my boys are growing up, they are no longer the little bubas who depend on us for everything.
The thought of my boys having total freedom to roam around the house is a scary thought. We have stairs, knives and forks, chemicals, electricity, gas even water in the house and oh my gosh can you imagine the chaos and devastation they could cause with these things?
Think A-Team meets Mac Gyver.
I’m terrified at the thought of what they could do if during the middle of the night they creep down stairs and try baking a cake, washing the kettle or hoovering the sink.
But, it’s time.
They are no longer tiny bundles of baby giggles, together they are a force to be reckoned with, they can and do make grown men cower with fear.
But the excitement of watching them grow is awesome. Both boys almost didn’t make it, I’ve seen them both stop breathing, needing medical assistance to bring them back.
Too many times I’ve felt I was losing them, and to see them take yet another step forward is a blessing I feared I would never see.
The pride I feel watching them grow in to these amazing little boys is immense.
But it all seems to happen in the blink of an eye.
It seems ridiculous that I was pregnant over 4 years ago. I haven’t changed a nappy or made up a bottle in I don’t know how long. I miss the poppers on their sleep suits, stating their ages in years not weeks or months even having to carry them everywhere.
I miss the new born baby cry, the endless cuddles and innocent giggles.
It’s bittersweet to see them taking these steps, despite my mishaps, regrets and misgivings, I’ve some how done a half way decent job at being a parent.
I haven’t failed them as much as I fear.