Private Discussions in Public Places

 

There was a time many years ago, when I’d wish for the day my babies could speak.

That day arrived a while ago.

I’m so over it.

We haven’t had many willy discussions lately, although the prideful look on Ethan's face this morning as he strutted around the house naked yelling “Willy, willy! Look at my willy” should have given me some indication that things were going to get ‘interesting’.

And by interesting I obviously mean mortifyingly embarrassing.

If there is one thing I hate about being a parent it’s taking the kids to use public restrooms, obviously today they just had to go!

So, the boys needed a wee, getting home in time wasn’t an option, so into the shopping centre loo we went.

“But mummy I’m a boy, I should go in the boys’ loo”

“Yes, but you’re 4 and that’s too young to go in there on your own. Besides, I’m a girl and I get in trouble when I go in the boys’ loo”

“Huh?!”

“In there, {shoves kids in the cubicle and locks door} do what you need to do…

pee in the loo not on your brother…

don’t flush whilst he’s sat on the seat…

DO NOT PUSH HIM IN…

Dude! How much have you drunk today???…

You done? Shake and wipe, I said wipe not wiggle!…

Stop waggling your willy and put it away”

“It doesn’t want to go away it wants to be a happy, happy willy, happy willy”

“Your willy is too young to be happy put it away or…” {no idea what my or was about, not much I can do or say to a 4 year old who wont put his willy away}

“Stand by the door I need a pee…

DO NOT OPEN THAT DOOR..STOP IT RIGHT NOW…

Arrrrggghhh don’t bloody flush”

“Mummy, where’s your willy?” {I hear a snort from the next cubical}

“I don’t have a willy, girls don’t have willies”

“Daddy has a willy, it’s bigger than mine”

“Yes. Yes it is”

Next time, they can just pee themselves!

they only look innocent

{Earlier today, looking cute and innocent}

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Comments

  1. Happy willy - that made me snort. Oh children, there is no pride or dignity once they are on the scene!

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  2. I know they just seem to sense that now would be the worst possible time to have that conversation.

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  3. This made me laugh, especially as my son was doing a bit of waggling himself last night! It's the girls too though, during potty training my 2yo announced to the whole of M&S ladies loos 'well done Mummy!' when I had a wee after her.

    Popping over from #pocolo

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  4. haha.... The joys of kids!!.. I have 2 boys also they 6 and 9 years old now and believe me the conversations don't get any better hehe #pocolo

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  5. Happy willy... Priceless. The joys of kids :) I have two boys 9 and 5 (almost) and it seems the conversations don't get more intelligent. Or less embracing. And yet they are the ones who are allowed to feel embraced by us! Go figure... #PoCoLo

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  6. Isn't it amazing how the more public the place the more inappropriate (& louder) the observations? My favourite has been a running commentary on my period in the John Lewis toilets.

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  7. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this - been giggling into my cheeky glass of Pinot whilst reading this. One of my favourite reads this week........ Happy Willy = genius!!!!!! #pocolo

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  8. Great post! Reading this made me laugh out loud.

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  9. hahaha! That had me laughing out loud!! Brilliant!!
    #PoCoLo

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  10. happy willy! So funny - can picture the mortification! Got to love 'em! xx

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  11. Oh, this made me giggle. I am expecting a boy so this gave me a taste of what's ahead of me, no more dainty sharing of a cubicle with Emma, oh my, I will send him in with hubby or let him pee himself :-). #PoCoLo

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  12. Haha, this is hilarious! My toddler just started talking, and I can imagine myself in your situation down the line. #PoCoLo

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  13. I'm in hysterics this is so darn funny! Happy willy! I'm showing hubby this he'll find it hilarious! Xx

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  14. So funny! I thought I'd deftly avoided these conversations till I was out with a friend's little boy and he took it upon himself to tell me the difference between boys and girls while his mum had some rare privacy in the ladies. Despite my (quiet) assurances that I already knew he loudly proclaimed that "boys have willies! You haven't got a willy have you Auntie Lisa?!" The sniggering from people walking by made it quite clear most of the shopping centre knew I didn't have one!

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  15. And teenagers wonder why parents deliberately try to embarrass them, it's just getting your own back. Don't worry you can remind him of these things with his girlfriend in 10-15 years time.

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  16. There is nothing quite like a child to embarrass you in public! I wish we could all speak that freely!! Love it :) Thank you for linking to PoCoLo x

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  17. Oh hilarious! I have all this to look forward to - as a girl growing up with 2 sisters, I'm finding the whole willy conversations too funny - but "happy willy"? Fantastic. Genius conversation. Popped by from #pocolo

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