Bullying, Bruises and Tears

My heart is heavy

As a mama, my job is to protect my children, keep them from harm and do whatever I can to make sure everyday is a happy day, free from fear, tears and upset.

And I’ve failed

I nurtured them for almost nine months, got them through those early months when they were so helpless, helped them when they tottered on their feet for the first time.

For so many occasions I was there, I swooped in to provide cuddles, apply bandages when necessary and scare away the monsters who hid under the bed.

And from the moment I sent them out in to the big wide world I’ve had to reply on others to keep them safe.

I entrusted my precious little boys in to the care of others.

And in doing so I’ve let them down.

As I help them get dressed for school, wiping their tears away, I have to duck my head so they don’t see my own.

I tell them how much fun they will have, and promise a treat or extra cuddles when I pick them up from school.

I pull their little hands from mine and give them a gentle push towards their classroom.

I give them a wobbly smile as they look back, trying to keep my own tears at bay.

I turn and walk away.

Sometimes listening to one or both of them screaming for me to come back, knowing I have left behind my precious children, in a place where there are children who for whatever reason want to hurt them.

And it feels so many different shades of wrong.

The smiling, eager boys, who actually cried when the school day was over are now the shy, crying boys who are begging and pleading not to go to school.

HAPPY

I’m not sure how many more times I can be strong enough to force my children into a situation which scares them, this isn’t something I expected to deal with, and it’s not something I ever wanted my children to go through.

The bullies have been reported, the parents spoken to and punishments doled out. But still it continues, I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do now.

I just want my happy, unafraid, little boys back.

BRUISE

23 comments :

  1. That is awful, what a situation to be in. I would suggest that you speak to the headteacher and request that the bullys are much more closley monitored because they have not stopped the behaviour. There is one very very problematic child in my daughters class than no longer gets to go out and play because of consistent bad behaviour. You could also be firm and say you will home school your boys until they sort the problems out, I did that when my son was having problems and miraculously the school took a much firmer line and the problems were very quickly resolved. You have not failed here, the school have in not seeing that the bully is dealt with.
    Alison
    x

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  2. Oh lovely - that is just awful. I'm so sad to read this. I have no idea what the answer is but I hope the situation gets better and your boys go back to enjoying school and you can relax and be happy again. Kids can be so cruel :((( x

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  3. Oh love :( this is horrendous. I'm so sorry to read this :( Lots of love xxx

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  4. This is awful and not something that you and your babies should have to go through.
    If the child's behaviour has not improved, the school should still be dealing with it and working with the parents to sort out the problem.
    If you don't think the school are properly addressing the problem then you need to take it to the next level and contact the chair of governors. I would also look at alternatives, get in touch with the LEA and ask about getting the boys on the waiting list for other schools and also investigate the possibility of home schooling.
    Don't let the school/education buggers get you down or fob you off. They are your kids, trust in your mummy instincts, you will know what to do that is right for your family. xxx

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  6. Oh Amanda this is horrid. I'm so sorry for you and your lovely boys. Keep on at the school as Joanne above suggests. They've got to sort it out. Hopefully this is just one horrible blip. Xx

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  7. I had tears in my eyes reading this. Takes me back. My mum always told me to ignore bullies and that doesn't work. I'm so glad you've gone in and spoken to someone, but so sad it hasn't done anything. You're a wonderful mum, don't doubt that. I know you will do what's best for your boys.

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  8. this is just so upsetting. your poor darlings and poor u. gosh I dont know what i would do :(:( that last photo is just horrendous. Like comment above u need to go to higher powers if school is just not helping enough. Also contact the bullies parents* how sickening that young children can cause such upset or know such upset to cause equally!! #hugs xx

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  9. OMG. I have no words. They're so little!! I was bullied throughout secondary school & partly in the last year of primary - But your boys are still tots!! How dare someone hurt them?! Awful. Awful. Just awful.

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  10. I haven't commented for ages, but this sad story has prompted me. I feel very sad for you and your boys. I assume that it is an older child doing the bullying. You could request that the school limit the areas this child is permitted to play. The school is also letting this child down in the sense that he could well have serious behavioural problems that need to be addressed. Some parents are in denial as to the extent of their children's problems, but the sooner her receives help the better for everyone. One would hope that teachers are keeping a very close eye on the situation. Sometimes other older children are an excellent help with the littlies in the playground, and you could ask whether it would be possible to set something up. Does the school have an anti-bullying policy? If so, they should be following through on it.
    Keep making a fuss until they sort this out!

    Kathy from Tas

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  11. I'm so sorry to hear and see the bullying. Your words were strong enough but the photos sickened me. Bullying is unfortunately part of childhood and I'm sure all mamas fear for their little ones…but when it happens there seems to be no clear way to deal with it and to make everything and everyone okay. Stay strong and I really hope you can get this sorted as soon as possible and move on from it. Vicky x (from villedebrighton.com)

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  12. Can't imagine what you're going through but this is such a sad read and you must be lost for what to do next and just wishing you could wave a magic wand to make everything ok again. Lots of good advice in the comments above and maybe even consider changing schools? No child should have to go through such horrendous school days and it doesn't sound like the school are doing an even near good enough job of dealing with the situation. I wish you every strength and hope something can be done to make things turn around soon. x

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  13. How awful! Whoever did this shouldn't allowed anywhere near your children again. Surely they should be excluded / expelled?

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  14. Speechless, except this: You didn't fail.

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  15. That is absolutely shocking. They can't keep going to school with that happening. Send the photos to the head and the chair of governors, go to the council, go to the press... If you've kicked up the biggest fuss already and nothing has changed, you just have to tell them you're taking unauthorised absence and keep them home. Schools don't like unauthorised absences - it's not good for their stats.
    Good luck. None of this is your fault and it should never have happened to your little boys. X

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  16. This brought tears to my eyes. How could anyone do this to you're sweet little boys. To anyone? I don't have answers but the first thought that came to my mind was home schooling. My heart goes out to you're little ones and to you. You did not fail you're boys.

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  17. Good grief. I am so sorry and saddened to read this. x I totally agree with what Sarah (M of 3) said and this must go further. sending love. love Han (mamabearwithme)

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  18. Amanda - this is heartbreaking - Rather than put a long post here I have e-mailed you.

    Hazel

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  19. Oh hunni, this was so hard to read. I've been here, with my eldest and little A. I can't offer advice other than, get them out! Tell the head, walk in with the boys and tell her/him that this cannot continue, your boys are not being kept safe. If this doesn't provoke a reaction, then maybe it's time to look at other schools, or home schooling even. Sweetheart, I hope this gets better soon xxxx

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  20. Oh my darling. I'm totally heartbroken for you. You haven't failed them, ever xxx

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  21. How sad Amanda. I'm so sorry, you haven't failed them, the school has. The pictures are shocking, they are so young I don't know how that could happen without a teacher intervening. Hope you can sort this out, I'd be tempted to pull them out of school if nothing is done, like others have said. L x

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  22. My goodness Amanda, this is horrific! Poor little mite :( Have you been in to the school? Please don't feel you've failed them in any way, you so haven't but the school has. What was their response? Sending love to you and hoping that you're able to enjoy half term. Your boys don't deserve this Amanda and neither do you. xx

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  23. my school claim they have a policy for bullies for ofsted but try talking to a teacher and they deny all knowledge that its happening my daughter also who used to love school now hates it, its bloody awful i feel for you and your lovely boys and im so sorry their school experience is ruined by unmanaged children and adults in responsibility that really dont want the school reputation upset rather than the childs well being. Big hugs to you and your lovely children i hope they fix up soon and more important getting a better educational experience

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Thank's for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate each one!

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