Me Before You ~ Life Before Kids

This post first appeared over at the lovely blog hosted by lovely Laura as part of her Life Before Kids series.

It’s ridiculous how few of my shenanigans I can share publically, seems I was a naughty girl! Alcohol plays a large part in my wayward behaviour, opps!

I blame..…myself entirely, I had good times!

Rather than just write a post about what I got up to before I became a mama, I decided to write the post for and to my kids, a life lesson you might say.

Ahren & Ethan,

I know, it seems difficult to imagine, but I did indeed exist before I had you.

There was a time when I didn’t even know your daddy.

I worked, lived with friends and actually wore clothing other than pjs.

Life wasn’t better, it was just different.

So, this is me, before you…

It’s fair to say I haven’t always been the respectable adult you know, I know, hard for you to believe isn’t it!

I have in my time been responsible/taken part in some truly stupid/momentous events, so, when I tell you to not do something, it’s most likely because I already did it, and it didn’t end well. I probably have the scars to prove it.

So, these are a few lessons on life I would like to impart, with you, my darling boys…

Dance like no one is watching

Despite you seeing mummy enjoying a drink or 3, drinking is bad. Bad I tell you!

This one time…on a Friday, lets say, but really could have been any day, cause back then who needed sleep? I went out for the night with the guys from work, to a place called Reflex or maybe it was Flares, a 70’s type shindig with cheap booze, loud music, a dance floor and dance poles! I was in heaven. Showed of all my moves with my gal pal Marie, it was the shit!

dancing with marie

Seriously, I know I trip over my over feet, but me in heels, 9 sheets to the wind and dancing is a sight to behold. In fact it was so impressive Patrick Swayze turned up, he was stood there, just watching us dance.

patrick.jpg

Totally crazy, but as I said, Marie and I could DANCE! We probably taught him a few new moves, and despite what the haters say, no…it wasn’t a cardboard cut out from Dirty Dancing IT WASN’T!

Be aware of your surroundings!

Another day, we’ll call it a Saturday…I was attacked by a fence!

Seriously, I was minding my own business {drunk off my arse in Brighton} when a huge fence {tiny thing, less than a foot tall} appeared out of nowhere and tripped me up! I elegantly landed on my bum, and thought nothing of it. Until I ended up in hospital with surgeons drawing on my leg as to where they would have to amputate. Thankfully hard-core drugs, an awesome NHS and my lovely nana and granddad saved my leg.

But that fence, it was out to get me, next time I see it, it’s going down.

BOOM!

Do things just because you can

Whether it’s an impromptu picnic in Hyde Park, a holiday in the sun or going on a tour around London at the butt crack of dawn because you can’t sleep…do it.

Do not pee whilst drunk, laughing at the top of a hill!

You will roll down the hill, laughing, with knickers around your ankles.

Your mother is nothing but classy!

I blame it all on Becky, she led me astray!

Be confident

One evening, whilst out and about in the glorious town of Croydon, I was out for my birthday, exciting times!

I had a helium balloon, my very first helium balloon IT. WAS. AWESOME!

just sitting and chatting

My shortness and youthful {cough} looks caused the bouncers at the local Walkabout to question my age and ask for ID, in a most assertive and confident manner I declared “Of course I have ID, I have a balloon!” and in to the bar I waltzed, confidence is everything.

SING LIKE NO ONE IS LISTENING

I love to sing, in fact I love it so much, I would often serenade the streets of London as I made my way home from a night out.

This one time I realised I knew all the words to Delilah and Jolene and decided to share the love by serenading the whole of Greenwich, your daddy says it was “memorable”!

Always Keep an eye on the Time

It’s happened more than once, I’ve lost track of time and ended up spending the night sat at Gatwick airport waiting for the next train to…anywhere.

So, either leave on time or book a hotel room in advance, planning is good!

If you do book a hotel room, it is possible to fit a human sized person in the cubby holes they store the spare pillows in, sleeping under a sofa bed is surprisingly comfy and no, the glass windows will not disappear, even if you ask them nicely.

LOTS OF ARROWS

So my boys, these are just a few of the lessons I wanted to share.

There are more, but with the statute of limitations and not wanting to get some fine folk in trouble, I will wait a while before I share the rest with you.

lots of love.pn

Comments

  1. Amazing post! Not sure I would be so honest with my kids about life before them! I remember reading this when it was over on Laura's blog x

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  2. Haha chuffing love this! Might have to do one for Luca xx

    ReplyDelete

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