Since the letters arrived home a few weeks ago informing me that my boys would be having lessons on Sex and Relationship Education I’ve been a bundle of nerves. There was to be a video, nakedness and discussions on how “it feels good when it’s hard” … the penis, not the sex apparently, and talks on the differences between men and women amongst other things.
I was not and am not prepared for the questions these lessons will no doubt bring up.
And less than an hour in to the Summer break and it started.
The boys were splashing about in the pool, I was pottering around the garden deadheading flowers when Ahren rather proudly and loudly declares “My willy is floating! I mean my penis. I have a penis not a willy A PENIS”
He then informs me “Mummy, did you know you have a vagina? A vagina…ahahahahaha VAGINA PENIS” he’s laughing so hard his head ends up under water, I’m partly relieved that he’s now spluttering water and concentrating on breathing rather than shouting his two new favourite words whilst I mourn the days of “willy and boobies”.
It’s then that we hear “Cooeee hello” from over the wall and I realise that our neighbours have overheard us, it’s their first Summer living next door to us, I guess it’s a good thing they learnt on day one what to expect!