Let’s Talk About Sex

I’ve been thinking about sex this week. Actually I think about it every week, but this week it’s different, my children had their first lessons in Sex & Relationship Education and it’s opened a whole new can of worms.

They learnt all about their private parts and the differences between boys and girls, trying to ascertain anything else they learnt is hopeless, they’re 6 year old boys; girls are gross and the words penis and vagina are hilarious.

Obviously!

I must admit I have so far put little thought to educating my children on sex and relationships, whilst they are aware of respecting their own and others bodies and personal space, I’ve seen no reason why they need to know about sex. They are after all only 6 and still believe in Santa, sleep with teddy bears and unicorns and want to be Batman / Spiderman when they grow up.

But it would seem I’m in a minority, apparently children need to know about sex.

And wanking, anal, blow jobs and porn.

According to many parents who were offering their opinions on a mumsnet piece (I know, but I was looking for info on what they would have learnt this week) by 10 years old children need to know all about sex, wanking, anal, blow jobs and porn.

My jaw just about hit the floor; here we are as parents bemoaning the lack of childhood and how quickly society is to sexualise our children whilst simultaneously educating our children on activities which frankly they just don’t need to know about.

There is a huge difference between educating children about the biology of sex and the rules of safe, legal and consensual sex and actually getting down to nitty gritty of positions and such.

Am I a prude or a bad mother by not wanting my children to know such things at 6, 10 or even 12 years of age?

We have a watershed of 9pm for swearing on tv, yet I’m expected to explain anal sex and blow jobs to my kids before they hit double digits in age….

I want my children to grow up and learn about their own sexuality and the realities of sex, when they feel ready, rather than when everyone else seems to think they need to know it.

It’s not often I doubt my parenting, and this is a subject I really hadn’t considered, but now, urgh, I’m really wondering if I’m letting my kids down or not by not covering these issues with them.

Comments

  1. I think the same as you. My kids get sex ed in p5 (9 - 10 yrs) and they get told about official names, sex and I am not sure what else... We have had 'the chat' though, in the car this spring my son (9) and daughter (6) wanted to know what mating was and how it worked (there were lots of lambs in the fields). So I seized the moment and told them in simple biological terms. Son's reactions was, to be exact, "so sex is just like a mechanical process then?" and daughter thought it all sounded disgusting!! I am hoping a drip feed of information will be a lot more informative and more normal than getting it all at once at school!

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  2. Wow. Just wow. NO BLOOMIN' WAY am I teaching my ten year old about anal and blow jobs!!!! WHY would anyone think that necessary? I think children should know as much as your boys learnt - about how boys and girls are different. Just before puberty they should then probably learn about the basics of how a baby is made and that will be as far as it goes until they get to a point where knowing more is relevant. At ten years of age it is in no way relevant - or at 12. What 12 year old needs to know about anal sex?! WHY do they need to know!? I want my children to stay innocent for as long as possible and I don't think I am a bad parent for wanting that, I'm just hoping my children don't get tainted by society too quickly x

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  3. What the heck? Okay so here in the US I recently read that the government is trying to force schools to teach about sex, transgender sex, gay/lesbian sex, etc. I'm here to tell you I'm almost 32 years old and there is still a lot of that crap I don't know and I don't want to know... why the heck would you teach that in a public school? And at 10 years old... okay, I knew there were boys and there were girls and by about what 12/13 how babies were made but that was the extent of it. I didn't want to know more.

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  4. I'm so shocked at some attitudes, why on earth anyone, parent or not would think children need to know about this stuff is beyond me.

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  5. So glad I'm not alone in this, I was horrified at what some people think is acceptable for children to know. x

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  6. I can't imagine why 10 year olds need to know any more than that.

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