Parenting is just full of knock backs and unexpected emotional blows.
They pop up unexpectedly, out of nowhere, leaving you floundering for something to cling to; something to reaffirm the fact that your child/ren do actually still need you.
We’ve had our fair share of knocks, it’s an inevitable if not exactly welcomed aspect to parenting, but today my Ahren gutted me.
Our school run has gone from an hour journey, including an almost 2 mile walk each way during which my boys and I would have the most wonderfully random conversations, sing made up songs, play word games and generally have a good ol’ giggle.
Then the school bus arrived, and whilst I welcomed the bus, that walk in the rain was hellish, I missed the time with my boys. But we still had a little stroll and a wait each day for the bus, during which we’d have spinny hugs and more random chats.
Now, now the bus pulls up right outside our garden gate, the school run is now a few steps down the garden path, a hop across the pavement and on to the bus.
There is no need to hold my hand, I can’t remember the last time they gave me a hug or kiss before throwing themselves on the school bus. So instead I stand there, feeling rather redundant as I wave at the back of their heads as they chatter excitedly to a friend.
But this morning Ahren informed me they don’t even need me for this, apparently I can stay indoors as they feel fine going to the bus without me.
It was a crushing blow, it may not seem like a big deal but to this mamas heart it was huge.
Logically I know they still need and at times want me around, it was only last night that I had to escort them both to the bathroom for a wee, it was too dark and scary for them to go alone.
Whoever said “….words will never hurt me” obviously never had kids.