It’s scarily easy to plod through life avoiding risks, taking the easier path over those which may have more than a slight bump. For a while now I’ve been thinking the time is quickly approaching when I can cope without my meds, whilst they have without question enabled me to move on from a horrific period I think now is the time to stand on my own two, antidepressant free feet.
I don’t doubt that I will encounter the odd down day, but they are part of life and I feel much stronger in my ability to cope with the pressures and everyday events which have previously sent me into a downward spiral.
I realised the other day that I haven’t spent a single one of my twins birthday drug free, and I want their next birthday, 2nd April to be drug free for me.
I’ve been popping my antidepressants almost daily since September 2009, that’s a lot of drugs for someone who was once reluctant to take a paracetamol.
I’m now on a much lower dose, I actually used to take 10x what I do today, and I feel the time is coming when I no longer need even this small dose.
Over the past few months I tackled a few of the things which used to send me in to an emotional breakdown, these tasks which may seem insignificant to most, once had the power to induce paralysing panic attacks. Slowly but surely I’m reclaiming back my ability to function.
So, over the next few months I shall be weaning myself off them altogether with the help of my GP, cold turkey is not the way to go.
I must admit, it’s a scary and daunting prospect. Whilst not addicted to the drugs I do realise they have become a safety net, one from which I need and most importantly want to step away from.
Time for me to stop hiding and start being brave.