I’ve always had anxiety to some degree, but depression and PTSD swooped in and kicked it up to a whole new level.
Whilst my depression has lifted in ways which I know I’m in a better and happier place, my anxiety still plays up, sometimes in the most ridiculous of ways.
Like today, hubs is working away and I figured I’d change the bedsheets so that after my bath/shower tonight I’ll have a nice clean sheeted bed to climb in to.
But then I got to thinking *worrying*.
What if he sees clean sheets on the bed and thinks I’ve only switched them because I had someone else there with me!
BUT, what if I don’t switch them and he thinks there was someone else there, and I didn’t switch the sheets so as not to make him curious as to why I switched the sheets.
And then, as if this wasn’t enough to be swirling round my head at 1:37am I decided not to switch the sheets because *touch wood* what if he died whilst away for work and his pillow no longer smelled of him?
Honestly; anxiety and over-thinking things is exhausting. But I can’t switch it off, when my mind goes there, I just have to go with it, let the crazy thoughts run their course and hope I don’t end up more of an emotional mess.
My anxiety can switch between me being physically paralyzed and a random thought process which make choosing dinner seem a momentous task, but at least I’m at the point I can the humor in my ‘crazy’.