So many books, magazine articles, blog post and well intending friends will impart their knowledge with you as to what you will need when embarking upon the terrifying yet rewarding journey that is parenting.
But, there is one vital item always missing.
A bigger bed.
Not because you’re about to indulge in lots of monkey sex, but because your kids will no doubt claim your bed as theirs. Either to sleep in, jump on or as a resting place for all their teddy bears, it will be theirs.
You can survive without a moses basket, a bottle warmer, nappy stacker and a wipe warmer, what you can’t live without is a bigger bed.
Well you can, but sleep wont ever be comfortable again.
This lesson really hit home last weekend when my bed was invaded by my 6 year old twins.
Not once but twice.
It was 2:37am early Saturday morning and Ahren had a bad dream, which some how resulted in him and his brother clambering in to my bed to tell me all about MineCraft and digging for some sparkly crystal or something.
And dinosaurs; how do they know when they need to poo?
And breakfast; bacon or pancakes?
As is typical of children, they fell asleep whilst I spent the next few hours clinging to the edge of the mattress, shivering under a tiny corner of the duvet, whilst wincing from the constant kicking of little feet in the small of back and trying not to scream at the person attached to the hand which kept whacking me in the face.
Thankfully hubs had fallen asleep on the sofa or I’d have ended up falling out of bed!
The next night, we had the same thing. Except this time it was just Ahren, and a little bit closer to 3am. He managed to snuggle his way between his daddy and I, shove my head off my pillow and once again leave me clinging to the edge of the mattress whilst he spread out and got comfy. As he pulled funny faces at me and poked my nose, I wondered why the hell we hadn’t purchased a bigger bed.
So, rather than contribute funds to their future education or therapy, I shall start a Bigger Bed Fund, because there really isn’t room in my bed for four people, even in two of them are shorter than me.