One month on…

It has been one whole entire month since I had my last antidepressant.

I would love to say that it has all been hunky dory, and whilst it could have been worse, it hasn’t been entirely pleasant.

Thanks to planning and taking things slowly, I have avoided any serious withdrawal symptoms which has been a godsend. But getting used to the “new me” has been unsettling.

Am I too hyper, too loud, are my emotional reactions wrong, should I be feeling this way?

It feels like I was sedated somewhat for the past 7 years, only now am I really experiencing the full scale of my emotions and reactions as a parent, has been an adjustment to say the least.

I’ve lost my temper a few times and cried a little, but feeling the full range of emotions and being able to process them in a healthy manner, for both myself and my family, has made all the wobbles worth it.

I’ve not once thought I need to go back on the antidepressants.

Every few days I remember how long it’s been and I get a silly grin on my face, I feel somewhat daft but I’m honestly so proud of myself.  A few years ago I never would have thought I’d get here.

through the trees

I’ve realised I need to challenge myself, rather than get stuck in a rut of recovery and little else, I need to start pushing my boundaries and seeing just how far I’m come. Recovery from depression and PTSD is about so much more than stopping antidepressants.

So now I need to make plans and start looking forward to discovering who the new me is and just what I can accomplish.