.Escaping the fog of depression has given me a thirst for life, the realisation that this is it.
There is no do over, no matter how much I may want to not have lost 7 years they are gone, and rather than mourn the loss of time and experiences I didn’t appreciate at the time, it’s now time to focus on the future and not the past.
For a while I thought I needed to do something grand, a big gesture that would show everyone that I did indeed appreciate life and all its quirky adventures, big and small.
That I was worthy of this second chance.
But then I saw the words of a man who has just lost his friend to cancer.
His words were honest, raw and more emotive than I could ever hope to be. In those few words, from one man encased in grief I realised that I didn’t need to make any grand gestures, to either myself or anyone else, nor did I need to make any life altering decisions.
All I have to do is appreciate the here and now. It’s as simple as that.
It’s easy to get caught up in the hype that to live one must be and do ‘something’, but for many of us we are neither that adventurous nor complex.
It really is the simple things in life which mean most to me, the moments where I can be myself and just enjoy the simplicity of being quiet, weird, joyful or reflective. I don’t need to travel the world or risk life and limb to enjoy life, I’ve come to realise that I can do that just by being content.
So, I shall stop mourning for years I can neither change nor have back. I will appreciate the days to come, the adventure filled ones as well as mundane. I’ll stop worrying about those things I can’t change and learn to live with them rather than than let anger towards them fester.
This year has proven life is short, and only getting shorter by the day, now it’s time to make the most of it.