Coming off drugs after years of dependency is tough, both emotionally and physically.
There’s fear, excitement, apprehension, determination and whole heap of other emotions I can’t put into words. It’s not something you can really prepare for, you’re either ready or you’re not, the only way to really find out is to try.
A leap of faith in the abyss that is your mental health.
On the 1st September after 7 years of dependency on a cocktail of antidepressants, anxiety and sleeping tablets I made that leap.
It was terrifying yet exhilarating.
It’s going well. It hasn’t been easy, but it is worth it.
The pride I feel in myself for getting this far is worth the doubts and niggles.
Who knows what the future holds, maybe I’ll keep going as I am, with moments of worry which are soon eclipsed by the joy that is being discovered in the every day things. Or maybe one day I’ll need the support and stability that comes with medication once again, what I do know is that I’m no longer worried nor ashamed if I do.
But for now I’m just chuffed as fuck that I reached my first 100 days antidepressant free.