Depression and Me
Despite 1 in 4 adults suffering from some sort of mental illness, once you’re tagged with that label, the world can suddenly become a very lonely place.
Sometimes it’s nice to know you’re not alone in your suffering.
I’ve taken a pretty open and honest approach to my mental health issues, it helps me to get everything out rather than keep it bottled up.
Sometimes I find it helpful to read other peoples stories, knowing I’m not entirely alone in this.
These posts tell my story.
Seems I’m not actually doing all that well on reduced meds and need to bump them back up. After so many years, countless pills and 5 different therapists I really thought I had got through the worst.
But I can feel the grey nothing creeping back, I’m slipping back.
Depression, proper mind numbing depression where there is no black or white, no good or bad, just grey….. just nothing, I can’t just snap out of it.
I want to, I need to.
But I can’t.
I can see the world carry on around me, but I’m not a part of it, it will carry on regardless whether I laugh, cry or sit here silently watching it pass by.
Life goes on, but I’ve stopped living.
Its been a long, dark road to get where I am today, I’m not yet back to 100% but for the first time in a long time, I’m feeling good.
You hear a lot about living with depression but not so much about getting though the other side, which is where I think I might be.
I was ready to talk to my GP today about maybe reducing my meds, which is a big deal for me, I’ve been on them for over 3 years, and I’m stuck between no longer wanting to be dependant on them and not knowing if I can survive without them.
If there is one thing that living with depression has taught me it is to try and make the best of any situation.
It was easy to let it consume me everyday, and for a long time it did.
I’ve experienced dark times which could have taken over completely and left 2 little boys without a mummy.